by: Teacher Ria
With the recent events taking place, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what a person may be feeling. How does one answer the question “How are you?” nowadays? Scared- with the uncertainty and threat brought about by COVID-19? Confused- with the recent exchange of beliefs and opinions of people about the government? Angry- with the injustice our people face, especially the poor in experiencing this pandemic? Stressed- in being expected to still function like a normal human being- fulfilling tasks and responsibilities in a seemingly out of the norm situation? Perhaps all these emotions may be merging and swirling within us, some we are aware of, while others remain undetected.
A professor once told me about the idea of treating emotions like visitors. Much like visitors, emotions come and go. They may sometimes come at an unexpected time, while there are times when we anticipate their arrival. Some emotions would politely knock on our door, waiting to be welcomed, while some would blatantly barge in without prior invitation. But what do we get out of treating emotions like visitors? Perhaps most of us, without knowing it, don’t really pay attention to our emotions; or we might even be ignoring them or trying to shut them out to keep us safe. However, this almost automatic system that we may have been trained or molded to have, can only benefit us to a certain extent. In fact, shutting out and ignoring our emotions may psychologically do more harm than good. It may increase our stress and/or anxiety, rumination, and procrastination- hindering us from being able to do what we really want to do.
In treating emotions like visitors, we have the opportunity to be in tune with our emotions with a sense of openness. In seeing it this way, it allows us to get to know the emotions present within us. Perhaps, like a visitor, asking its purpose of visit? Where did it come from? What does it want to do? These questions bring us awareness and insight, helping us to better understand ourselves. But most importantly, like visitors, we don’t ask them to leave or do things for us. We simply welcome them and allow them to be. Some visitors may be easier to accommodate, like Joy, Excitement, or Calmness, while others may be much more challenging, like Sadness, Anger, or Fear. One thing is for sure, none of them will stay permanently- they all come and go. All of our emotions serve a purpose, and act as a guide in helping us genuinely work closely with ourselves. Hindering these emotions from simply existing would deprive us the opportunity of giving ourselves care and compassion. There is a sense of freedom in being able to get to know these emotions and eventually letting them go with a grateful heart.
Perhaps during these trying times, we can listen to our visitors, allow them to exist, and bid them goodbye when it’s time. So the next time the question “How are you doing?” comes up, I hope this is your own voice, asking yourself how you are, and listening to your visitors at the moment.